Our initial touch on self-control will not be complete (at least in my mind) if we don’t consider what part “self-control” played in her eligibility for the throne and mention in the Bible (1 whole booked named after her).
She had lots of qualities which we’ll be focusing on throughout our discussion of the “Seven Secrets of the Esther Effect” however, 2 come to mind at this point:
- Chastity
- Submission
In Genesis 34, we read about Dinah:
Now Dinah daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out [unattended] to see the girls of the place. And when Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he seized her, lay with her, and humbled, defiled, and disgraced her.
But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke comfortingly
to her young heart's wishes. And Shechem said to his father Hamor, Get me this girl to be my wife. Jacob heard that [Shechem] had defiled Dinah his daughter.
Now his sons were with his livestock in the field. So Jacob held his peace until they came. But Hamor father of Shechem went out to Jacob to have a talk with him. When Jacob's sons heard it, they came from the field; and
they were distressed and grieved and very angry, for [Shechem] had done a vile thing to Israel in lying with Jacob's daughter, which ought not to be done. (Amplified Bible; emphasis mine)
Talk about wrong place? Yes but it’s more about the wrong crowd too.
What about Princess Tamar in 2 Samuel 13: 1-15? To cut a long story short, in those days half brothers and sisters were allowed to marry each other. Amnon lusted after his half-sister and with his best friend/cousin advice, was able to rape her. Tamar knew how her half-brother felt about her - ladies usually know or at least suspect when it's not wishful thinking of course - but was still “available” to him. The other thing to take notice of is what happened after he’d forcefully slept with her - see verse 15: “Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that his hatred for her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Get up and get out!” (Amplified Bible)Again wrong place and wrong crowd.
Ladies, whether married or unmarried, we must live chaste lives. If you are not yet married, there is no reason to “cheapen” yourself by flirting or sleeping around – it definitely doesn’t’ score any points for you…it erodes your value. See how his professed “love to death” turned to “disgust and disdain” – now we know why some men have no respect or regard for those he’s slept with – don’t be one of those ladies!
Let me use an analogy I’ve used for several years:
Raise your hand (at least off your keyboard, mouse or blackberry) if you like receiving gifts (& surprises) my hand was raised too.
How would you feel if you received a gift that is not properly packaged or the wrapper is all torn and stained? Did I hear you say “no thanks”? Exactly! That’s how it is when if you claim to be a Christian (young woman or man) and you’re not chaste before your marriage. For those of us who may have lost our virginity prior to becoming Christians, the last person you slept with before you got married should remain the last person you have sex with before you get married.
Young women & men, please preserve your chastity (virginity) for your husband/wife (of the opposite sex). See Rom 4:24 – we don’t hope or look forward to things we have already seen.
There no reason why 2 people of the opposite sex who not related to each other should be sharing a room, apartment or house…even hospitals don’t allow that!!
Ladies, why should you go and cook, clean and do laundry for a man just because you are hoping that he will propose to you? You’ll have the rest of your life to do those tasks – ask the married women –so why have a head start? Now, you’ve started me on something I’m very passionate about and I can go on and on about…we need to teach our daughters these things from day 1 not at 15 years of age or later!!!
Let’s pull in the reins and refocus: Esther obviously “hung out with the right crowd” which is one of the reasons she remained a virgin – who are our daughters’ friends? This is also where submission comes in.
Submission
After Esther was “short-listed” to join the “Beauty programme”, she obeyed Mordecai and didn’t disclose her nationality – that worked in her favor as we see later in the story.
Now let’s get something clear: Submission is NOT the same thing as Servitude; their definitions are so clear:
Submission: “a willingness to yield or surrender to somebody, or the act of doing so.”**
Servitude: “state of slavery: the state of being a slave or subjection: the state of being ruled or dominated by somebody or something.”***
Submission is a result of YOUR decision; Servitude/Subjection is a result of external imposition.
As Christians, we’re expected to submit “one to another” i.e. prefer on another in love(Ephesians 5: 21); as Christian women, we’re further expected to submit to our own husbands – not to other people’s husbands (Ephesians 5: 21 & Colossians 3:18). And all of us - men and women, young and old, know that we need to submit to God for our own good (James 4:6-7).
Linking this to back to chastity, I won’t even bother reminding married women that we are not supposed to flirt or sleep around – I expect that we all know that!
Back to submission – "that topic!": Married women, we need to learn to submit to our husbands – whether or not we agree with them. Now, it’s not because they are “stronger” or “smarter” than us (which may or not be true) but because we have intuition and initiative and are intelligent enough to decide to submit in obedience to God as Esther "lived within the walls of obedience as submission" to Mordecai and highly favored and honored as a result.
Just curious: how many of us have regretted not submitting to (and/or supporting) our husbands and their decisions/advice? I can still taste the “gravel” of that non-submission in my mouth.
Let’s give it a rest…let’s walk on water here too…and be trail blazers like Peter was.
Make this a great weekend for yourself. God help and bless us all!
References:
*page 21 of The Esther Effect by Dianna Booher
** http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/submission.html
*** http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_/servitude.html
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