Secret #2 – Self-control – (5)

I really can’t imagine being a woman without walls…or living in a home without walls...hmm no form of protection, not to mention privacy - which all women need - at least I do.

Well, this leads in nicely to the next letter: “L” – which is for “Lifestyle”.

Hear what some men said (notice that eras they lived in):

Man cannot live without self-control – Isaac Bashevis Singer (1902 - 1991)

The greatest victory a man can win is victory over himself - Johann Heinrich Pestalozzi (1746 - 1827)

Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power – Seneca (Roman philosopher - c. 4 BC – AD 65)

I wonder if they realized how true and relevant these words were and still are to women? Do you ever feel like you’re in the “battlefield” with yourself – trying to consider your options and making the right (& hopefully, wise) choices and decisions?

So what is “Lifestyle”?

It is “the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.”* So really it comprises “all” that fits into our mode of living. Now that summarized definition already tells us that we can’t cover everything in this segment...we’ll just touch lightly on some areas.

As God will have it, we’ve already talked a bit about our thoughts (which influence our attitudes) and our actions...see past Blog postings.

We’ll just hone in on “Habits” because as Charles Reader said: “Sow a thought, and you reap an act; Sow an act, and you reap a habit; Sow a habit, and you reap a character; Sow a character, and you reap a destiny. Character is an integral part of our lifestyle which determines our destiny so we’ll talk about our habits and how we can be self-controlled. Let’s start by defining habits - Habits are “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.”**

When the topic of habits comes up, we’re usually quick to think about bad habits – at least I am. Now, let’s take a deep breath here. You DONOT need self-control for bad habits...you just need to STOP them altogether – control not required. I like what Leo Aikman said “The best way to break a bad habit is to drop it.” So that’s where we “drop” the talk about bad habits.

So what about other habits that are not “bad” i.e. not sinful as such but can be when done in excess – examples that come to mind are eating and shopping.

Do you know anyone who as a “habit” - almost like a check off their “to do” list - takes food away from any event they attend? I mean...even when you’re offered a take-away pack you don’t have to say “yes, please”. The “no, thank you” option is always available – at least that’s what we teach our children...now, I’m hoping we teach those phrases to our children. Currently, I’m teaching myself to say “no, thank you” to free/extra food at events – why should I be the only one or one of the women “set apart” to take things away? That’s not my calling. Jesus taught us not to waste – so do not throw food away but did you notice that the Bible didn’t say that any of the 5000+ people who were feed took food away with them?

Now, I’m not saying STOP taking food away from events or always say “no, thank you” – all I’m saying is “have some self-control” – why should people identify you as the lady who never leaves empty-handed? You’re all women of quick understanding so I’ll stop there on the food matter as we could go on to eating everything in sight – that’s another day’s story...

About shopping...this is a sticky one for some and a sensitive one for others. Shopping can be fun – window shopping can be grueling...at least for me it sometimes is. The issue here is when you’re on a shopping spree do you have your brakes with you or are you on “Cruise”? Well, I am on “Cruise” especially when things are on “SALE” or just seem “affordable”…ringing some bells for you? I thought so

As Christian women, we should be able to determine and help those in our sphere of influence – family and friends – know the difference between wants and needs...the line gets so grey for me. Sometimes when things that I really, really like are on sale, the line changes from a light shade of grey to a transparent line – does that sound familiar? Well, that’s when I reach for my brakes...it’s just that sometimes my brakes don’t work either as quickly or as effectively as I’d like them to.

Shopping is one area where I’m working on self-control. I constantly remind myself, as I am quick to tell my children, “You cannot have everything!” At times when I succeed in restraining myself, I celebrate them as WoW moments – I celebrate my little successes as they give me confidence to keep walking on water...

Are there any other “lifestyle” areas or habits you’d like to discuss? Please include it in your comment - questions are also welcome.

*http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lifestyle
**http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/habits