Relationships

Ecc 4: 9-12 - ⁹ Two are better than one, in that their cooperative efforts yield this advantage: ¹⁰ if one of them falls, the other will help his partner up — woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no one to help him up. ¹¹ Again, if two people sleep together, they keep each other warm; but how can one person be warm by himself? ¹² Moreover, an attacker may defeat someone who is alone, but two can resist him; and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken. (Complete Jewish Bible)

The only (and best) "3rd party" you should have in your marriage is God...

Imagine...

...if we had a Christmas day every month?

With exactly one week to Christmas, there is so much activity going on:

• Writing and sending out Christmas cards - sometimes to people (including family members and friends) you haven't spoken to in a long time. 
• Some of us are (painstakingly) taking time to choose, buy and perfectly wrap gifts - we hope the recipient(s) will need or at least appreciate. 
• Quite a lot of time spent for 1 day - especially when you add the time spent shopping, cooking and hosting/visiting family and/or  friends. 

As an aside, the other part of this is the very sad fact that many people - including Christians - are forgetting the Reason for the Season. If you are not sure (or don't agree with me) just look around and see the number of people who now say: "Merry Xmas" instead of "Merry Christmas" or those who have totally changed their vocabulary and say: "Happy Holidays." The way I see it, since Jesus Christ took the time and  "trouble" to be born as a baby to save us from our sins, we can and should also take the time and trouble to spell His name in full when wishing family and friends a Merry (& memorable) Christmas. The reason is simple:
Without Christ there'd be no Christmas much less anything memorable about Christmas.

Back to the topic:

It's all about "R"

A few months ago, I was typing "Hello dear friend" - at least that was what was in my mind but my fingers were working too fast and I typed "Hello dear fiend." Good thing I caught it before sending it out - what a classic example of where and how spell check can fail you. As that happened, it struck me that "R" makes quite a difference in that word and in the world.

House of Mirrors

"All of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." (2 Cor 3:18 - NLT)

Author unknown: Long ago in a small village [or so the story goes] there was a place known as the House of a Thousand Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit.

When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the door with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as he could.

Stick with it!

I saw a great quote that set me thinking. First the quote then my thoughts...

Consider the postage stamp:

its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

~Josh Billings

Diamonds in the Desert

I once read a book, which I recommend to everyone, titled “The Dream Giver” The book assures us that the desert experience is real, but that it almost always accomplishes great things in our lives. The book provides insights and practical solutions for getting past the desert experience. The authors give examples of people in the Bible who have spent years in the desert or wasteland, where God sharpened the skills they needed for the attainment of their Dreams. Moses was one, Joshua was one, King David was another one, and Joseph yet another. Joseph learned to manage Potiphar's household, and then the jail he was thrown into, before he was ready to manage the land of Egypt, and these are examples to remember when we feel defeated by the dryness of our circumstances, should we be wandering in that desert, and most of us have spent time there. In the desert, there is training for reigning and there are a few things that can help when we face the desert and it feels endless…

1. "count it all joy," press your way through trusting through, remember where your at now, isolate yourself in the main areas where your trust in the Lord needs to grow. Ask yourself a question. What in your Dream do you doubt the Lord about right now?
2. Install a few safety nets beneath you to encourage and protect you when you feel like giving up on the call the Dream Giver in your life. Be around friends that help you through the desert experiences.
3. Increase the amount of time you spend with the Dream Giver Devote more time than usual reading and studying the Bible. Focus on Exodus, Joshua and Psalms. You'll be amazed how often times you will find your answer you are looking for.
4. Ask the Lord for wisdom that he promised to give to all who ask in Faith. Pray about what troubles you most. And keep a spiritual journal during desert seasons. Work through your questions, emotions, and insights on paper with the Dream Giver.
5. Install the commitment deep in your heart that you won't turn back, no matter how long or hard or painful the path through the wilderness may be. Hold on to this key truth: "Now the just shall live by faith; but if any man draws back, my soul has no pleasure in him."

Each of us will definitely have a desert or waste land experience where our leadership skills can be put to the test and we can break through into our great dreams. Find your diamonds in your desert, for they are there…!!!

The Necklace

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw it - a fake white pearl necklace in a pink foil box. "Oh Mommy, please, can I have them?" she asked. Her mother checked the back of the little box and then looked back into the little girl’s pleading eyes. "They’re $3.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and you can save enough money to buy them for yourself."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her piggy bank and counted out 68 pennies. Over the next week, she did more than her share of chores and soon earned the needed $3.00 to purchase the pearl necklace.

Jenny loved those fake pearls. She used them for dress-up and they made her feel so grown up. She wore them everywhere - Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy! You know that I love you," she replied. "Then will you give me your pearls?" he asked. "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection. She's my very favorite."

"That's okay, Honey, Daddy loves you. Good night." And he kissed her cheek.

Birthstones?

How many of us know about birthstones? Well, I started researching into the history of birthstones and found some interesting information.

As always, it all started with God and then man stepped in and diluted it....

When God gave Moses the instructions for building the tabernacle, He asked that they design a breastplate with 12 precious stones embedded in it because He wanted to always have the people of Israel presented to Him.

God was very clear in the purpose of the breastplate:
"So Aaron shall bear the names of the sons of Israel in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart when he goes into the Holy Place, to bring them in continual remembrance before the Lord." (Ex 28:29)

The design of the breastplate was very clear in Exodus 28:17-20: "You shall set in it four rows of stones: a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle shall be the first row; The second row an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond [so called at that time]; The third row a jacinth, an agate, and an amethyst; And the fourth row a beryl, an onyx, and a jasper; they shall be set in gold filigree." (Amplified Bible)

Then in Revelation 21:19-20, we have: "The foundation [stones] of the wall of the city were ornamented with all of the precious stones. The first foundation [stone] was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony (or white agate), the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth sardius, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst." (Amplified Bible)

I guess jewellers will know more about the details of each of these gem stones but that's not the point...let's move on to see what my research turned up (emphasis mine)...

Don't wait for Mr Right...

Growing up and looking forward to being married, my peers and I always commented about looking for Mr Right. When I became a christian, the question then became: "how do I know Mr Right?" Of course, the  married people used to say - "you will know" or "God will speak to you". I eventually found the second response to be more accurate in my case and we've talked about how to hear from God in a previous posting...so that's not where I'm going.

In waiting to get married, one thing I didn't do was have a "MrRightometer" - I wondered about 1 or 2 guys but didn't dwell on them - ok, maybe I thought a bit about if they were prospects but moved on quickly. I was more interested in living and having a fulfilled life - and that paid off. If you're not complete, happy and fulfilled as a single person, I can assure you that marriage won't bring you any more happiness, fulfillment or completeness. Marriage is a wonderful institution but only God brings fulfillment not any man or woman.

Will you dance with me? (Author unknown)

Just this morning, I was considering what to post and then I found a gem in my mailbox...as usual, my comments are in green.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. Sound familiar, yes it sure does sonund familiar to me but I'm changing by His grace.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you? I'm guilty of this too...so now I make an effort to suggest it before anything gets thawed and even if it's after things are thawed and warmed up - so what? I'm on the "live life abundantly" path - within reason of course. Recently, I suggested that we eat out and out of sheer surprise (knowing how often I turn do those offers) my husband asked, "what are we celebrating?" My response was: "We're celebrating life - it doesn't need to be a special occasion." And so we did...

Men on Motherhood

On Thursday night, my husband and I listened to a Mothers' Day message. The message was rich - I encourage you to listen to it. In rounding up, the presiding Bishop shared some "gemstones" (as I call them) too good to keep to myself. Overnight, I appreciated how Jeremiah felt when he said: "his word burns in my heart like a fire. It’s like a fire in my bones!"* I just had to share these precious gemstones.

As usual, I've added a few more gemstones and my comments are in green.

The child you pamper today will tamper with your peace tomorrow. ~ Bishop David Oyedepo – this is another way of interpreting Proverbs 29:17, which says: Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad. (NLT)

Teach your children to do what is right not what they like. ~ Bishop David Oyedepo – does this sound like Proverbs 19:18**, Proverbs 22:6***, Proverbs 29:15**** all rolled up in one? Sure does to me.

That best academy, a mother's knee. ~James Russell Lowell – I’m sure most of us would agree with this when we think about our mothers; the question then is: "Would our children agree with this when they think of us?" Hmmm...

The mother's heart is the child's school-room. ~Henry Ward Beecher So what’s in your heart? Remember to guard yours with all diligence because all the issues of life flow out of it. (Proverbs 4:23*****)

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln This is a personal challenge for me, obviously he saw his mother’s prayer life and felt the energy and love emitted from it...I must do the same starting today.

Endnotes:
To watch the message I referred to, go to: http://davidoyedepoministries.org/archived-media-center and choose services on May 9th, 2010.

* Jeremiah 20:9b
** Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your children while you still have the chance; indulging them destroys them. (The Message)
*** Proverbs 22:6 Teach your children right from wrong, and when they are grown they will still do right. (Contemporary English Version)
**** Proverbs 29: 15 - Wise discipline imparts wisdom; spoiled adolescents embarrass their parents. (The Message)
***** Proverbs 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (New Living Translation)

Happy Mothers' Day...again

I found this quote and it's challenged me:

I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life. ~Abraham Lincoln

Got the following piece in an email...and you well know by now, there's joy in sharing...enjoy & God bless

Moms Are Important (by Right From the Heart Ministries)

"Her children rise up and bless her;" - Proverbs 31:28

When Thomas Edison's intelligent and sympathetic mother learned that his teachers felt he had inferior ability, she educated him at home. He said, "My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, that I felt I had someone to live for, someone I must not disappoint." A mother's love and a mother's time are vitally important to the development of a child. Just think of the ways we benefit today from the investment of time on the part of Thomas Edison's mom.

British psychiatrist John Bowlby said, "The young child's hunger for his mother's love and presence is as great as his hunger for food."

Moms, you're pulled in so many different directions today. The stress can be unbelievable, but remember that nothing is more important than the investment of time in the life of your child. God's Word tells us that when a mother does this, her children rise up and call her blessed and her husband praises her, saying, "Many women have done virtuously but you exceed them all."

I'm certainly thankful for my mom and have been tremendously blessed by her love and devotion.

"Behold children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward." - Psalm 127:3

Dr. Leila Denmark, a well-known Atlanta pediatrician, said, "Every animal on earth takes care of its own until they're able to take care of themselves, except us. We have brainwashed people into thinking that there's something greater out there than being a mother."

Ellen Wilson Fielding, who left her prestigious job as book editor of the Wall Street Journal to be at home full time with her son, came to see it this way: "I felt I was going to a greater thing when I left the Wall Street Journal to care for my son." She said, "For the essence of motherhood is the acceptance of God's offer to share in the creation and development of another human being. The question was not whether the job was good enough for me, but whether I was good enough for the job."

Motherhood is the toughest, most demanding, yet most important job in the world. With the many choices for women today, let's not forget that there is no calling of God more important than being a mom.

Secret #5: Character - acE

E is for Example

Have you ever heard the phrase: "children hear what they see"? A wise person said: “Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example instead of his advice.” (Author unknown)

I believe that the greatest way to influence another person is by what you actually do - not what you say. Albert Einstein said: "Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means."

You can talk till you're blue in the face the fact is that: “A good example has twice the value of good advice” (Anonymous). I'm sure you know what I mean. I'm sure we'll be more conscious and conscientious if we take to heart what Francis Bacon Sr. said: “He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.”

Paul's advice to Timothy was: Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 - NLT) and he had every right to give that kind of advice because he was bold enough to encourage the Corinthians to "follow his example" more than once (see 1 Corinthians 4:16 & 11:1)

Without saying too much, suffice it to say that if you'll have the "ACE" up your sleeve (& in your heart), your character will glorify God; and “If we take care of our character, our reputation will take care of itself.”*


God bless

Source:
*quote in Our Daily Bread (January 13, 2010)

Secret #5: Character - aCe

C is for Conversation

Those you associate with, to a large extent, determine who you “converse” with and sometimes you really don’t have a choice e.g. your work colleagues, which brings us to conversation…

Let's see what those who lived before us had to say about character and conversation:

The character of a man is known from his conversations. Menander (342 BC - 292 BC)

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)

Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

Have you ever been in a situation where people "hold their tongues" around you - or as you so "sociable" that your acquaintances and colleagues feel no restraint in what they say around you?

On the other hand, are you one who can be described as "talking ten to the dozen"? Is your voice the only heard in a conversation? Must you talk each and everytime? Remember our postings on Communication (in March 2010)? I won't repeat all we said there here but it goes without saying that the things that come out of your mouth are a reflection of who you really are...to paraphrase Luke 6:45b - whateever is in your heart "spills" out through your mouth.

What you say shows who you are, what/who you listen to also shows who you are...watch your conversations and your character is in check.

God bless

One thing I learned from my mother

Depending on which part of the world you’re in, Mothers’ day has already passed or is on its way. Isn’t it interesting that unlike Fathers’ day that comes up only once a year, we have 2 dates set aside for mothers?

In some places it was on March 14th 2010 and for others it will be on May 9th 2010. So I’ve decided to post this on a date in-between both special days…interesting this coincides with my mother’s birthday (and to think that was not the intention - it just happened).

Recently, I was discussing with a friend about something I learned from my mother and she made a statement that I felt I need to share within the context of what I learned from my mother.

Two reasons why you must love yourself

Valentine’s day is here again…I can imagine that some of us are expecting gifts and treats from others affirming their love for us. It’s all well and good but what’s the value in all that if you don’t love yourself and need someone else to “convince” you that you are “love-worthy”? If I can even stretch that without changing the focus of this piece, why must people wait for one day in the year to “demonstrate” their love for others? Barbara De Angelis said: “Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.” And I believe you should “demonstrate” it from moment to moment – it’s not in the gifts or treats but in the everyday treatment – how many husbands help their wives at home? How many wives help their husbands at home? I won’t go any further…at least not just yet.

Quotable Quotes on Diamonds

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:
Guard well your spare moments.
They are like uncut diamonds.
Discard them and their value will never be known.
Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.

Juvenal said:
"Many individuals have, like uncut diamonds, shining qualities beneath a rough exterior."

Edward Zwick said:
I have nothing against diamonds, or rubies or emeralds or sapphires. I do object when their acquisition is complicit in the debasement of children or the destruction of a country.

Sapphire says: These are all so true...invest your time (including your spare time) and resources polishing your children...and all those in your sphere of influence...bring out the best in them and in yourself. Like James Keller said: a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Desire for diamonds

A friend of mine just sent me an email I've received several times before and our Sovereign God prompted her to send it to me today...a day after we talked about "Digging for Diamonds". I believe this happened so we can share this on the blog (comments in green, emphasis and illustrations mine) - please note that the original author is unknown (to me).

A married lady was expecting a birthday gift from her husband. For many months she had admired a beautiful diamond ring in a showroom, and knowing her husband could afford it, she told him that was all she wanted. As her birthday approaches, this lady awaited signs that her husband had purchased the diamond ring...

Finally, on the morning of her birthday, her husband called her into his study room. Her husband told her how proud he was to have such a good wife, and told her how much he loves her. He handed her a beautifully- wrapped gift box. Curious, the wife opened the box and found a LOVELY, LEATHER-BOUND BIBLE, with the wife's name embossed in gold.

Angrily, she raised her voice to her husband and said, 'With all your money you gave me a Bible as my birthday present? And stormed out of the house, leaving her husband for good. (There is no reason for walking out of your marriage - please if you're thinking about it, send us an email let's talk. God's plan is for marriages to exemplify Jesus' relationship with the church - link up with Him for coping strategies.)

Many years passed and the married lady was very successful in business. She managed to settle for a more beautiful house and a wonderful family, but realized her ex-husband was very old, and thought perhaps she should go to visit him. She had not seen him for many years. But before she could make arrangements, she received a telegram telling her that her ex-husband had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to her. She needed to come back immediately and take care of things. When she arrived at her ex-husband's house, sudden sadness and regret filled her heart. She began to search through her ex-husband’s important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as she had left it years ago.

With tears, she opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As she browse through, a tiny package dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a diamond ring with her name engraved on it, the same diamond ring which she saw at the showroom. On the tag was her birth date as at the year she had left him with the words...'LUV U ALWAYS' on it...

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? We should learn to appreciate and be grateful for what we receive (& even for what we don't).

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you do not have; but remember that what you now have may have been among the things you once hoped for. We teach our children that they cannot have everything they want - why should it be any different for us adults?

God bless us all.

Digging for Diamonds

I shared a bit about my attraction to “sapphire” as a gemstone about 3 weeks ago and since I know that a lot of other ladies, such as the lady who responded to the Posting via her comment, like diamonds – or at least wear /desire diamond rings/jewellery, I went on to dig up some more info about diamonds. Nothing wrong with liking more gemstones - increases the options for my husband (oops did I just let that slip out? :) - well it's true won't you agree?)

Ok back to the subject matter; I found some interesting information in Encarta Encyclopaedia online and other sources - my thoughts follow the information in a different font colour. So here goes…

Diamond is the hardest natural mineral and has many other exceptional properties that collectively make it an important industrial and scientific material. Unique geologically, diamonds form at great depths within Earth and are typically billions of years old. *

Sapphire speaking: Likewise, women are wired to be durable - did you know that the root word for diamond is “Adamas” – a Greek word that means unconquerable and indestructible? Seems like a good reason to wear diamonds so we have a constant reminder? Well, not really because it’s what you believe in your heart that counts not the rings/jewellery you wear.

Diamond Cutting
Diamond cutting encompasses a number of processes that bring out the beauty of gem diamonds. These processes include cleaving, sawing or laser cutting, and polishing. A diamond cutter seeks to enhance the brilliance and fire of each stone and to eliminate imperfections, such as cracks and cloudiness. The cutter develops a plan that will accomplish these goals while still producing a gem of the greatest size and hence maximum value. About half of a natural diamond’s size is lost in diamond cutting. *

Examining the stone is the first step in diamond cutting. The cutter determines where cleavage planes lie and decides how the stone can best be divided by cleaving and sawing. *

The cutter next places the diamond firmly in a holder for cleaving. A light blow of a hammer on the cleaving iron, which is held against the diamond parallel to the cleavage plane, cleaves the stone. *

Bruting is the process of giving the rough diamond its basic round shape. During the bruting stage, one diamond is forced against another on a special rotating wheel. This is the only way to actually form the shape of the diamond; by having it manipulated by a second diamond.**

Polishing, the final step in the cutting of a diamond, consists of forming the facets of the finished stone. Cutters most often choose the “brilliant” form, which has 58 facets.*

The most important aspect of a polished diamond is the quality of the diamond "cut". The cut of a diamond is the one thing which is entirely manipulated by the diamond cutter and will determine the visual beauty of the diamond. A well cut diamond will have tremendous brilliance regardless of its color and clarity grades. Conversely, a poorly cut stone will appear dull and lifeless even if it has a top diamond color and diamond clarity grade.**

Sapphire speaking: In Jeremiah 18:1-4, God shows us how like the potter, He moulds us (& remoulds) into vessels that are “useful” to Him. John 15: 1-3 Jesus informs us that God prunes us to cut off the non-beneficial parts of our lives so that we are more productive to Him and to the people around us – pruning is painful but good for us. That’s how God brings out the beauty and best in us – stick with His programme!

Henry Kissinger said “A diamond is a chunk of coal that is made good under pressure.” Remember, "A well cut diamond will have tremendous brilliance regardless of its color and clarity grades."** Furthermore, one diamond gets it's "shape" from another a wholly Biblical principle see Proverbs 27: 17: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Judging a Diamond’s quality
Only high-quality diamonds are suitable for use as gems. In judging the quality (and therefore the value) of a cut diamond, a buyer must take into account four criteria, known as the “four C’s”: color, clarity, carat weight, and cut. *

Sapphire speaking: Likewise, our quality in and of life is determined by specific criteria (i.e. principles) we live by. For value-enhancing principles, live by every word in the Bible.

Industrial Uses
Due to its hardness, diamond, as either single crystals or finely ground powder, can be used in cutting, abrading, or polishing tools. It is used extensively in drill bits, in cutting devices, and as a surface that can withstand shock and pressure. Industrial diamond has applications in the mining, oil and gas, electronic, optical, thermal, machining, dentistry, and medical industries.*

Sapphire speaking: We may not be popular or prominent but we can be useful and productive wherever we find ourselves. Ask yourself: are people glad or sad wherever I go or whenever I go?

Like diamonds, we have exceptional qualities that make us unique – like John Mason said “you’re born an original don’t die a copy”. (That’s a book I recommend that you read.)

No matter how hard you try to be like others, the best you can be is second best! Too many of us don’t know or appreciate how unique we are. Well just in case you haven’t heard it before…you ARE different, unique and special…live up to that!

In being the best “diamond” we can be, let’s take some advice from Mary McLeod Bethune who was an adviser to US president Franklin D. Roosevelt, “Invest in the human soul, who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough.”

Investing our time, love and prayers (TLP) in those around us is not just Digging for Diamonds...it's also Going for Gold. It also results in several WoW moments in your life - Fear not! you're wired to last and will overcome the challenges that are sure to come.

Keep radiating God's glory like the diamond you are!

*http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761557986/Diamond.html

**https://exceldiamonds.mysecureweb.net/education/diamonds/diamonds-art-cutting.php

Quotable Quote

The most precious jewels are not made of stone, but of flesh. ~Robert Ludlum