Secret #2 – Self-control – (4)

The second “A” is for “Actions”

Ok…so I control my words – I don’t “say it as it is”– and I have a good “attitude” about it…indeed! – I just “show it as it is”. Ever heard the adage: “actions speak louder than words”? In being a self-controlled woman, your words, attitudes and actions must be in sync. You can’t say “nothing” when asked, “Is anything the matter?” and yet your actions just display how wrong something or even everything is – does that sound familiar?

It is for me – let me explain. Sometimes when I’m upset and my husband asks “what’s wrong?” especially when he contributed (directly or indirectly) to my being upset rather than lie by saying “nothing” I say “it doesn’t matter”. Now, does it matter? It could but I need space to determine that for sure - I use that as my “catch-yourself” self-control mechanism as I have found on occasion that my reason for being upset is unfounded or just due to a personal preference. The challenge is what I do and how I act during my “catch-yourself” moment. Sometimes I just “leave the scene” – to cry or just cool off - before I do or say something I’ll forever regret, at other times I stay there and focus on positives and continue living joyfully – it’s tough though!


Let’s step into Esther’s shoes for a moment…
and we’re all unique so we need diverse shoes…
we all have various preferences = different styles...
and of course we're different sizes hence assorted sizes...

She just got distressing news and she went on to organize dinner for her husband and her now self-appointed enemy. As if that wasn’t hard enough, she had 2 dinners…phew! Imagine how she’d be smiling to ask “would you like anything else” rather than seething. Being an ever gracious hostess…in full control of her internal impressions and external expressions. Now that’s tough – at least for me it would have been and is.

I know that Marya Mannes said that, “The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control their emotions by the application of reason” honestly, sometimes I rather not be considered “intelligent” (and I am intelligent) and just let my emotions ride on and take me where they want to…

Tough as it is, I consciously and continuously do my best to have self-control and not let my emotions or passions take over – if you can’t control them, they control you.

I leave you with a few more words of wisdom - hoping that mine also qualify as such:

If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins. ~Benjamin Franklin

He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls. ~ Proverbs 25:28 – Amplified Bible

I sure don’t want to be a woman without walls – would you?

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