It’s unfortunate how many times Christians use that phrase in an attempt to make others “surrender” to their desires, which they frame as “God’s will”. If only you knew how many people have gotten married to the wrong people, gotten into the wrong company or even wrong church just because someone came to them and said: “the Lord said”, you will not hesitate to seek out how you can hear God for yourself by yourself.
Now we must make it clear that God does speak to us through others and even things (remember our series on the spiritual tips from a shopping trip). I personally believe that most times, if not all the time, God has spoken to us and we may not have heard so He needs to speak through someone else to get our attention. At other times, God speaks to us and then confirms what He’s said through another person so we are sure we heard Him. The Bible even says: once has God spoken, and we hear it twice* (or maybe more times)
As I was saying too many people have been coaxed or conned into relationships, marriages, employment, ministries, professions and the list goes on just because they relied on what “the Lord said” to someone else.
So how do we know when God is speaking to us?
I’ll tell you how I know when God speaks to me. I usually “feel” an encouragement or discouragement when I want to do something. A recent example: I was working on my bed (something my husband has dissuaded me from doing) and I wanted to save the blog posting I was working on onto a USB flash drive so I could continue my work on a different computer. Just as I was putting the flash drive in, I felt that I didn’t need to or at least I could wait till I was ready to shut down. I dismissed the feeling with the excuse that I could forget to save the work on the flash drive. Well, while moving around on my bed, the string on the flash drive got stuck under the pillow and shortly after the flash drive split open – totally avoidable had I “listened” to the “feeling”. Now that’s one way God speaks to me – in this case He was discouraging me from doing something.
At other times, say when God asks me (or my family) to do or give out something, as difficult as it may seem, for as long as I (or we) don’t obey, I become restless – without peace. The minute I obey, my peace returns.
Now for the one around deciding whom to marry... some of us are blessed with many proposals and unfortunately rather than turn to God, we start assess the men based on the value of gifts we get from them. Ok, before I go to far, ladies please DONOT accept gifts from (Christian) men you are not interested in. It is wrong! The Bible says: “a man’s gift makes room for him.”** So if there is "no room" for the person, then gifts must not make a "reservation" - you're not a hotel. Please don't act like one; feel free to send us an email if you want to discuss this further.
Back to our topic: Whether you get several proposals or just one, always take the person and his proposal to the One Who knows your end from your beginning. I had one proposal and I wasn’t sure if he was the one for me so I kept putting him off. In fact the day he insisted I take a Coca-Cola on his account, I turned it down - my head of department in church who saw & understood what was happening had to drink it since I obviously wasn’t going to. After a while, I got a 2nd proposal. Now, what was I going to do?
Two ministers in my church noticed that my countenance had changed (I didn’t even know that) and asked me what was up – I confided in them and they both responded separately, “let’s keep praying”… Well, was that a cue or what? I then started praying about both men and their proposals. The “panic” or shall I call it “apprehension” I felt each time I thought of one of them was confirmation that I just couldn’t get married to him. So one day, after praying that he will receive my response well, I told him that I was not interested.
Now for someone who had been in a hurry to get a “yes” from me because “God had told him that he was getting married that year”, he was rather clam when I told him. He shook my hand and said “God bless you.” What?! Oh for sure, I needed God’s blessings and help too.
With one gone, I still had one person/proposal to go...so guess what I did? I kept praying and asking God to confirm what He was saying to me through others. God confirmed what He was saying to me through both people who knew what my “situation” was and those who had no idea what my “situation” was. After my “time of prayer”, I made a decision…and ever since I have had peace even when things are not going the way I’d prefer.
So how did I know that God spoke to me? I knew it was Him because I’ve come to know how He speaks to me based on our relationship. Just as you can distinguish between your mother’s voice and other women even her (twin) sister’s voice due to closeness and familiarity, you can do the same when you cultivate a relationship with God. Of a truth, “God cannot reveal anything to us if we have not His spirit.” (Oswald Chambers) We get His spirit by being joined to Him.***
The bottom line is:
God wants to speak to us more than we want to listen. He is a God of love, and love longs to communicate. (Linda Schubert)
References:
*Psalm 62:11
**Proverbs 18:16
***1 Corinthians 6:17
to be continued...
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