Secret #3: Courage - (7) - Courage to Leave

Courage to Leave

Now this is going to be a tough one...well, I guess it goes without saying that "leaving" is not the easiest thing to do no matter how expedient it may be e.g. when a loved one passes on. I'll try to focus on some areas that I feel are challenges to us as women...please feel free to jump in with your comments and TEA of course.

Leaving a relationship (before marriage)
Now for me this was the first time I had to confront "leaving" with courage. I was in a relationship with a young Christian man - our families knew each other a bit - and we were planning to get married. Somewhere and somehow (in a way I cannot explain), he decided to follow his own paths and desires. Now that was so tough considering that I was young and looking forward to settling down after school...only for this to happen.

I had to ask myself some tough and touchy questions - I had to, my life was on the line here. At the end of the "talk-to-yourself" conversation, I concluded that if he'd decided to end his relationship with Jesus, I had to do the same with him not Jesus. I cried for days and refused to get into any other relationship for years...hoping that he would come back to Jesus and then to me. It didn't happen - this was a challenging "Walking on Water" period in my life. I constantly cried out to Jesus who took me ashore and embraced me in His love...until I was found by my husband, who I won't trade for the world.

Ladies, if you are a Christian, the worst thing you can do is get married to someone who isn't a Christian hoping to convert him - from what I've heard and seen, such women live in torture for a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnng time - that doesn't need to be your story. As a Christian woman, that's not a boat you can jump out of - marriages are for life!

The other thing is, if you have prayed and believed that you are courting the young man God wants you to marry and the tide turns and things start heading "South" - jump out of that boat immediately. I can assure you, from personal experience, that as you walk on the water (of uncertainty and emotions), Jesus will take you ashore as He did with me. You'll be the better for it.
These principles also apply to our pure friendships with people of the same gender. We'll talk about Friendships in more detail later; suffice it to say here that Arnold H. Glasow was spot on when he said: "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." We'll also talk about how to hear God...so you don't even get into the wrong boat or know when to jump out (before marriage) if you entered it in error.
Leaving your family, friends, familiar environment (church, community, country)
Getting married involves on level of leaving - the Bible instructs us to "leave to cleave". Now this means that you must protect the integrity and sanctity of you marriage. In other words, whatever happens in there stays there - it's no one's business. If you have problems and need help...go to God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 is clear: And though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Amplified Bible) - make and let God be the third cord in your marriage.

You then leave to cleave and your husband wants to move...to a new community, new church, new city, new country...it could be anything - which you may or not have discussed before marriage because neither or you saw it coming or saw it and decide to wait to "cross the bridge when you get there". Which ever is the case, it's a giant step to leave the familiar.

Imagine how Ruth felt - she was not just leaving her family, friends and familiar environment, she was leaving with her mother in law! That was definitely a courageous step - she had both courage to leave and courage to lean on God. Our level of courage to lean on God underpins our courage to leave otherwise we'll just be letting things happen to us rather than making things happen for us.

This 2-fold courage of leaning on God and leaving is key for personal development and general advancement. To many times we hold onto what we can't keep and fail to reach out for what we can. This is so true as it applies to jobs, careers, courses and so many other areas of life.

Kathie Lee Gifford put it aptly when she said: "A fear of the unknown keeps a lot of people from leaving bad situations." Christian ladies, we should know better - 1 Timothy 1:7 says:

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and
cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love
and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. (Amplified Bible)

It's also the fear of the unknown that keeps people from leaving good situations for better ones. Peter demonstrated courage in leaving the boat - it was based on his courage to lean on Jesus.

Walking on Water is based on Courage - Courage to Leave and Courage to Lean!