Being Balanced

There’s always something happening – every day. And if you’re like me, now and again, things seem out of whack and you feel “unstable” – aka as out of balance. That’s partly why I haven’t been blogging for a while. Let’s get started…

Balance is both a noun and a verb

As a noun it means:         

an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions

 

As a verb it means:

keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall.

offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.

God is clear on His intention for us – these verses speak volumes

John 10:10 tells us that “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” (AMP)

Psalm 36:9 - You are the giver of life. Your light lets us enjoy life. (NCV)

God wants us to enjoy the life He has blessed it with and to do that, we need to be balanced. To be balanced, we need to:

      Be intentional in setting boundaries. You are the only one who knows and can maintain your boundaries. Quote: Balance is not better time management but better boundary management. Balance means making choices and enjoying those choices. (Betsy Jacobson) Did you know that boundaries are God’s idea? “From one man he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live. (Acts 17:26 – Christian Standard Bible)

There needs to be a clear demarcation between your marriage/family and other aspects of your life: ministry, work, other relationships etc. …and a set time for everything. Otherwise you will find yourself doing everything for others and nothing/not enough for your spouse and children.  

    Articulate your purpose – you need to be careful that in bring all things to all men that you don’t end up being nothing to yourself. If you don’t know your purpose and pursue it, others will determine your purpose and push you around to fulfill their own purpose(s). Pursue your purpose with passion and you’ll fulfill your potential.

   Learn to say “No” without feeling guilty - one secret for achieving balance in your life is “Knowing how to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty.” Write “NO” on a piece of paper and turn it upside down. Please remember that whatever you don’t say “NO” to in your life, gets turned “ON.” 

  Accept that life comes in “ages” and “stages” – Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: (NIV) Depending on the ages of your children and the stage your family is at, there are some things in your life that may need to take a “back burner” – at least for a season.

   Never think that if something happens to you, the world would end – it won’t! Even when Jesus died, the world didn’t end, people went about their normal business including the women who went to “dress” the body only to discover that He had risen.  

This verse shows that so clearly

1 Samuel 30:13 - David said to him, “To whom do you belong, and where are you from?” He said, “I am a young man from Egypt, a servant of an Amalekite; and my master abandoned me [as useless] when I fell sick three days ago. (AMP)

This young man may have been his master’s “right hand” – but when he fell sick, he was abandoned and the Amalekites moved on to their next project. The truth, even if bitter, is that life goes on…

      Carve out “Me-time” – self-care is not selfishness – Mark 6:31 - Jesus and his  followers   were in a very busy place. There were so many people that he and his followers did not even have time to eat. He said to them, “Come with me. We will go to a quiet place to be alone. There we will get some rest.”

     When you don’t take the time to rest, you unduly stretch yourself and get stressed. Caring for yourself is evidence that you care for your spouse, family and even the ministry. Your diet also shows how much you care for yourself.

      Enjoy the moment – you cannot save “enjoyment of the moment.” This includes taking the time to laugh… as we know it takes more muscles to frown than to smile… The Bible encourages us to do that:

Psalm 118:24 - This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (CSB) 

Ecclesiastes 2: 12 -13 - ¹² I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. ¹³ It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts. (CSB)

 

John 10:10b – I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].  (AMP)

So, when you don’t enjoy your life, you are not fulfilling God’s purpose for sending Jesus. 

   Do only one thing at time and delegate where possible – no one can do 2 things equally well at the same time without help e.g. cooking and using the Washing Machine. Women are well-known and even applauded for multi-tasking…and when you think about it, it is very taxing to multi-task. You end up more exhausted and sometimes less fulfilled. Sometimes we are stressed because we are stretched… I believe that once a child can walk and talk, they can go on errands. When a child can make a mess, he/she can tidy it. (More Hours in my Day – Emilie Barnes)

Let’s wrap up with this popular story

Rock, Pebbles, Sand and Water Story (Note: this story has appeared in many forms so I’ve combined various versions to make this appropriate for us)

A philosophy professor once stood up before his class with a large empty mayonnaise jar. He filled the jar to the top with large rocks and asked his students if the jar was full.

The students said that yes, the jar was indeed full.

 

He then added small pebbles to the jar, and gave the jar a bit of a shake so the pebbles could disperse themselves among the larger rocks. Then he asked again, “Is the jar full now?”

The students agreed that the jar was still full.

The professor then poured sand into the jar to fill up any remaining empty space. The students then agreed that the jar was full.

Finally, he poured water into the jar – by then it was obvious to all that the jar was completely, completely full.

The professor went on to explain that the jar represents everything that is in one's life. The rocks are equivalent to the most important projects and things you have going on, such as spending time with your family and maintaining proper health and relationships. This means that if the pebbles and the sand were lost and only the rocks remained, the jar would still be full and your life would still be meaningful.

The pebbles represent the things in your life that matter, but that you could live without. The pebbles are certainly things that give your life meaning (such as your job or school, house, hobbies, and some friendships), but they are not critical for you to have a meaningful life. These things often come and go, and are not permanent or essential to your overall well-being.

Then, the sand represents the remaining filler things i.e. “small stuff” in your life, and material possessions. This could be small things such as watching television or running errands. These things don't mean much to your life as a whole, and are likely only done to waste time or get small tasks accomplished.

Finally, the water is just the “nice-to-haves” – as a you know, “water always…finds its level.”

The metaphor here is that if you start with putting sand into the jar, you will not have room for rocks or pebbles. This holds true with the things you let into your life. If you spend all your time on the small and insignificant things, you will run out of room for the things that are actually important.

In order to have a more effective and efficient life, pay attention to the "rocks," because they are critical to your long-term well-being. What’s the value of wealth without health?

• Pay close attention to your health
• Spend time with your family
• Exercise
• Keep in touch with relatives that live far away

Take time to get medical check-ups, play with your children, go for a run, write your grandmother a letter. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, or fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first – things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles and sand.

 

This story appears in many forms, some even incorporating a fourth element of water. However, its original source is unknown.