Stay put...not out

When this common quote: "Go where you're celebrated not tolerated" crossed my mind, the first 2 words in the title "responded". I pressed rewind in my mind and then decided to unwind it...
The impression in my spirit was that we can't, and actually shouldn't, always leave where we're tolerated for three reasons:

0.5 what?

What is this world coming to?

A few years ago, I went shopping and saw more than one "wonder." One of the wonders was that this store had sizes below "0" yes they had "00" and even "000". Talk about the "smallest" size available!!!  

How to raise your standard of living

I am yet to meet anyone who does not want to raise their standard of living. Yes, even I want to.
The world - people, internet, books etc. - is overflowing with tips on how to raise our standard of living. Funny enough, the focus is more on standard of living and the standard of life is ignored.

Before we dig in, let's step back to look at what "standard of living" and "standard of life" mean:
The former is a term used to define one's social and economic well-being and an objective measure. On the flip side, standard of life is subjective and relates to one's level of happiness i.e. quality of life.

When people talk about raising their standard of living they focus more on how to become richer versus how to make their lives and others' lives richer. Becoming rich is a lofty goal but there's more to life. The Bible is very rich...and tells us how to raise our standard of living and standard of life.

Isaiah 33: 15-16 - The answer’s simple: Live right, speak the truth, 

despise exploitation, refuse bribes, reject violence, avoid evil amusements.

This is how you raise your standard of living! 

A safe and stable way to live. A nourishing, satisfying way to live. (MSG)

When we align our standard of living to the word of God, our standard/quality of life will improve.

Zig Ziglar put it this way: 

If standard of living is your major objective, quality of life almost never improves, 

but if quality of life is your number one objective, your standard of living almost always improves.

Our standard/quality of life is evidenced by being a channel of blessing as Proverbs 11:25 tells us - 

The generous man [is a source of blessing and] shall be prosperous and enriched. 

And he waters will himself be watered [reaping the generosity he has sown]. (AMP)

Bottom-line:

Each of us will one day be judged by our standard of life, not by our standard of living; 
by our measure of giving, not by our measure of wealth; 
by our simple goodness, not by our seeming greatness. 
~ William Arthur Ward

We must strive to improve the lives of others around us and our standard of living will follow. 

"You have an accent."

Every time someone says that to me, I feel like saying "So do you." Now, that would be the right response but it will sound more like a retort and may come across as rude so I don't respond.

If you look it up in a dictionary - hard copy or online, you'll find that "accent" is essentially "a distinctive mode of pronunciation of a language, especially one associated with a particular nation, locality, or social class."* So in essence, everyone on earth has an accent...

Let me tell you how this topic came up - yes, you're right it was from the Bible. Let's read this "cornerstone" verse together:

Shortly after that, some bystanders approached Peter.                                                                                         “You’ve got to be one of them. Your accent gives you away.”**

When I heard and read this verse I smiled about how "age-old" this "you have an accent" line is. I then took it a step further. I'm sure that Peter would not have been the only person with the accent associated to his nation/locality however, that was what gave him away as having been with Jesus. So for me it was indicative that beyond the accent, in our days it will be our vocabulary and mannerisms. I then wondered if my vocabulary and mannerisms tell others Who I've been with.

What does your "accent" tell others?

Sources:
* Google
** Matthew 26:73 - MSG

A little miracle is a mighty thing!

A few years ago, after cleaning out my purse I realized that I'd "lost" one earring - so had only one earring of a pair I really liked. Oh no! I actually planned to write a piece about that titled "Not again!" because that's exactly how I felt. Now this wasn't an expensive irreplaceable earring or one that I had a sentimental attachment to but that wasn't the point. For me it was about losing something - and I didn't like that.

Fast-forward 2 months or so, I "misplaced" something at work and worked hard not to let it ruin the rest of my work-day - but of course it kept niggling at me.
"Where is it?" "I just saw it!" "What happened?" All these questions and thoughts were to no avail.
So I decided to "move on" - though not completely. As I wrapped up my day, I was sorting out my desk drawer and indirectly looking for what I'd misplaced earlier and what did I see in the corner?

Yes, you guessed right...the missing earring I mentioned in the first paragraph. I was so overjoyed that I almost did a dance at work. In fact, being so overjoyed overshadowed the fact that I had misplaced something else - which I believe I found later.

My take-away from this was that miracles happen everyday in the most unexpected ways & places. We need to learn to take things in our stride and appreciated even little miracles as mighty things.

"It could be me..."

One day while out with my husband, I noticed a convertible beside us with 4 people in it - 3 men and one lady. I was about to comment about it to my husband - more like "condemningly" asking: 

"What's that lady doing in the company of 3 men?"

What's your assignment?

No matter how attractive someone else's assignment may seem, it is not your assignment. 

What's wrong with the zipper?

Nothing.

With that answer I concluded that it means something's wrong with the "sipper".

Don't eat...

...to your death

You won't believe how and where this topic occurred to me. No I wasn't people watching...but you know, thinking about it, I may have come to the same topic doing that.

Focus

...on your race.

"The glass broke..."

I remember as if it was yesterday the first time I made that statement to my Mum (of blessed memory).

Cut it...

A few weeks ago I needed to redo my hair. When I undid my braids, I noticed that my hair had suffered damage such that some parts were shorter than the rest. So I mentioned to my husband that I want - more like really need - to cut or at least trim my hair. I did this of course to get his buy-in and, more importantly, his permission. As I pondered and wondered about the purpose of cutting it, the Holy Spirit dropped an enlightening life lesson in my heart - hence this post.

Home is...

...where the heart is,
and where the help is not where the "hurt" is.

The cycle of prosperity

I want to prosper! It's as simple as that. So I decided to pull together a few bible verses to guide me. 

I also want you to prosper so I decided to share this continuous cycle with you: 

Are you courageous?

A few years ago, my family and I had an opportunity to watch the film titled: Courageous 

together. It is a movie that I recommend that every family watch and learn from together not just for men to watch and learn from. 

The role of fathers can not be overestimated. Being a father is a lot more than passing on a sperm to your wife and expecting her as the mother to carry the child to full term and keep "carrying" and caring for the children till they are mature enough to start families of their own.    Far from it, it involves Courage - and a lot of it. Courage has to be the foundation of fatherhood. 

According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, Courage is the "mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty." Being courageous is not easy but it is possible with God on your side - just as He promises in Deuteronomy 31:6. It takes courage to accept responsibility for contributing to the future i.e. by raising a child. As we know our children are our future. And it is well known that "if you do not train them, you cannot blame them."

The other way I see courage being a critical success factor for fathers is that they need to know how to lovingly direct and discipline their children. Gladly, even if they were there when their children were born, they do not have the "baggage" mothers have of having carried the children within them which unfortunately makes some mothers let their children almost become "garbage" because of how they spoil them.

Being a courageous father also means that with the first-hand experience of being courageous in the face of danger, fear or difficulty, that you can encourage your children to also be courageous.

I celebrate all courageous fathers. Thank you for who you are and all you do. Happy Father's Day!

Beware of wondering...

...then wandering.

Happy Parents' Day!

Yes you read right? Who knew that there was such a thing?

I was just about to write a piece about parenting based on a sermon* and wondered if there was a "Parents Day". And surprise!! surprise!!! - there's one. Funny and interesting if you ask me. Parents' commitment towards their children cannot be overemphasized or over-celebrated. And as you might have guessed, finding this out inspired me more to write up and publish this piece sooner than later.

Communication tips

Let me start by wishing you a "Happy World Communications Day"
(Guess what: I just found by chance - reiterating the importance of following the Holy Spirit's leading)

A lot has been said about communication and I can't help but wonder if anyone is listening. Personally, I believe we'll be effective communicators if we take Dianna Booher's advice on communication:

"When you listen first then speak your heart with clarity and courtesy, you can lead others to change attitudes, behaviours and situations."

Over time I've written about communication - starting with the Secrets of Success* series.

Indeed it's an open secret that good & effective communication is a key to success.**

Communication is basically the exchange of information...and to be effective you must: 

• Spend time to consider what is being said and what is not being send i.e. listen
• Speak from your core (heart) - be careful that what you feel is real
• Speak with clarity - ensure that you know and mean what you say
• Speak with courtesy - your words should be laced with kindness and "salt"

Better communication is not the same as more communication. We must focus on improving the quality, not necessarily the quantity, of our communication - here are a few tips:

Communication works for those who work at it. ~ John Powell

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. ~ Peter Drucker

The two words 'information' and 'communication' are often used interchangeably, 

but they signify quite different things. 

Information is giving out; communication is getting through. ~ Sydney J. Harris

I also enjoyed reading this Message from Pope Francis as part of the celebration of this year's World Communications Day. It has so many nuggets of how we all can and should utilize and maximize this period of lock down - as we communicate through stories. Keep communicating.

References:

*http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2009/10/esther-effect.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/03/secret-4-communication.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/03/secret-4-communication-speech.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/03/secret-4-communication-script.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/03/secret-4-communication-signals.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/03/secret-4-communication-silence.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/03/seven-sayings-on-speech-and-silence.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/04/secret-5-character-ace_23.html

http://sapphire-and-beryl.blogspot.ca/2010/05/secret-4-communication-addendum.html

**http://www.reliableplant.com/Read/12675/communication-most-important-key-to-leadership-success

Step out - and up

I had the privilege of praying with a couple of my high school mates where one of us, Dr B, shared something that I felt that I needed to share further.

Working from home...

It's been 10 days since the WHO declared COVID19 a global pandemic. 

Some organizations have had to shut down 

while others have their staff now working from home.

Working from home is not the preferred way of working 

- especially when your children are home from school.

So it helps when everyone is helping 😊...

"I could have gotten that for you."

That was the statement I heard from a young lady after an older man had bent down to pick up something that dropped from his hand a few years ago. When I saw that I wondered whether it wasn't better for the lady to have said nothing rather than say she could have helped. 

Spring forward

Yesterday was the first day of Spring and I know that it may not quite feel that way in these days of #SelfIsolation and #SocialDistancing.

However, there are many things you can do to spring forward.

What are some of those hobbies you put off until when you have time? Well guess what? You have the #GiftOfTime now - unwrap it and make something beautiful out of it.

What about those people you have been planning to catch up with? You can have video calls, virtual coffees and even virtual family time (not if you're all in the same home of course).

Talking about family time, how are you spending your time with your family? Board games are one way to ward off boredom and bond as a family. (@adaleke #101 Quips and Quotes)

You can and should be deliberate and spring forward...do not let the environment replace enjoyment of life.

Celebrate yourself!

Today – March 8^th - is International Women’s Day.

On May 12^th 2019, when my family members and I were wishing each other “Happy Mother’s Day” (the second time that year) on our WhatsApp platform, someone asked,

“Haven’t we already said: “’Happy Mother’s Day!’?” Some of us proceeded to explain the difference between Mothering Sunday and Mothers Day.

The bottom line was: Women are celebrated several times a year – besides on their birthdays and at Christmas.

International Women’s Day sets the global “celebration of women” ball rolling. This year, I couldn’t help but wonder how many of us wait to be celebrated rather than take the time to celebrate ourselves. 

I believe that “The way you treat yourself, teaches others how to treat you. Treat yourself with love and respect.”[1]

So do something for yourself... celebrate yourself - you are worth it. 

Happy Women's Day!!!

---

[1] 101 Quips and Quotes that will charge and change your life by Ada Adeleke-Kelani; autographed copies can be ordered at: https://discoveryourbrilliance.blogspot.com/

How and when will they learn?

This is a question that has been bugging me for years...long before I became a parent.

In fact, it has been my front burner for a number of years and is constantly on my radar.

The reason is simple: