Secret #6: Connection

Secret #6: Connection: Emotional connection – to those in need, our support group, non-believers, all those around us – helps us take courageous action for Christ.*

Connection is simply a “link” – something that bring 2 or more things, people, groups etc together; the 2 or more things do not need to necessarily have anything in common. Like they say, opposites attract…that’s why God made a man to marry a woman not another man and why women marry men not other women.

No one can live without connection. Oh yes - even a hermit is connected to himself. As an aside, I believe that once you learn to love yourself, you’ll never be lonely even if/when you’re alone. (See the piece on Courage to Love for more on that)

In fact Margaret J Wheatley put it this way: Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone [from Never Eat Alone]

I completely agree with Elizabeth George**, there are 3 kinds of people:

· those who pull you down,

· those who pull you along and

· those who pull you up.

The easiest of those is for someone to pull you down. Take a moment to assess which category those around you fall into. Mike Murdock puts it this way:“Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.”

The only way you can move forward in life is by identifying which of the people around you fall into each category and taking appropriate action. At one time or the other, I’ve had (& still have) at least one of these 3 “people types” around me. This is where courage comes in (again). For those who “pull you down” you must be courageous enough to say “no” (& possibly “go”) without feeling guilty. The only exception to this rule is in marriage – you cannot say “go” in your marriage…you need to pray for your spouse.

Mike Murdock also said: “You will always move toward anyone who increases you and away from anyone who makes you less.” The sad fact is that some of us don’t have the courage to move away from those who make us feel less. Once again, I’m not referring to marriage relationships. If your husband (or wife – for the men who read our blog) is making you feel less (or just causes you stress) – talk to the Author of marriage about it and also look within yourself, you may need to change a few things or the way you do/say things to increase. You cannot say “go” to your spouse without being guilty – so don’t even consider it.

For general friendships and even some family relationships, “to know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. (Doménico Cieri Estrada)

References
*page 22 of The Esther Effect by Dianna Booher
**page 26 of Life Management for Busy Women, by Elizabeth George